Take Out the Trash

I’ve said it before and have heard it many times – men are simple, women are complicated.  Some men call us downright crazy.  While our thought patterns and communication may seem complex, it’s not a difficult task to make a woman feel loved.  Many men get overwhelmed by the multifaceted thinking of women and don’t realize how easily they can counteract that with a gentle word or action.  That, gentlemen, is an important fact you need to be aware of.  The simplest effort will go a long way.

The problem is that we forget to show our spouse love.  We take it for granted that they know we love them.  Love is more than just a feeling; it’s a verb.  You need to act on it every day - actions really do speak louder than words.  You could say the words “I love you” three times a day yet never give your spouse time or attention, and I guarantee you, your marriage will not survive.

I look at how challenging relationships can become.  When counseling couples, many will tell us it would just be easier to start over.  Oh, how wrong they are!  Truth be known, it doesn’t take a lot to turn a relationship back on track.  When you’re in the midst of the fire, though, it’s hard to see how things could get better.  Giving up and moving on to another relationship only complicates matters by dragging all your past garbage (baggage of past hurts) with you and multiplying it with each new relationship.  NOW is the best time to fix things, not in a new relationship.  Empty out the garbage and have the joyful relationship you desire.

When we have a large pile of garbage built up, it may seem insurmountable, unfixable.  That garbage does not gather when two people work continuously on loving each other.  Only when we feel that love are we able to deal rationally with the difficulties of life we face.  Without that oneness with our spouse, the problems and issues will quickly build a wall between us.

How do you get rid of the garbage that’s already there?  Work first on restoring your love for each other – forgive and forget and turn to God for His help.  If you don’t pray with your spouse, begin to do so.  There is a lot of healing power when a couple comes together to ask for God’s help.   That pile of garbage won’t seem quite so large when you stand firm with your spouse and you feel each other’s love and support.  Then you can chisel at it, together, without fear of hurt or judgment.

Philippians 4:6, 7  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

We all know how crazy life can be, and it only seems to get harder as we face these uncertain times in our world.  When a couple works together and keeps their love flame alive, they can face whatever the world has to throw at them.  You can be in the midst of chaos with your children, family or whatever wheel is squeaking, and a tender look from your spouse or a gentle touch telling you everything will be okay can make the difference between night and day.

If you pay attention to showing love to your spouse, then you’ll keep the garbage from piling up and making a terrible stink.