GPS to a Joyful Marriage

I visited Pennsylvania last week to attend my aunt’s 90 th birthday party.   I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy and full of joy.   In the past year the doctors told her she would need heart surgery.   Hospice called her to discuss her plans and told her she was terminal.   The doctor advised that she change her eating.   (Sure took them long enough to do that!)   She carefully watched her diet, and her issues dwindled.   There is no longer a need for the surgery (thanks to prayer and good eating), but they would still like to give her a pacemaker. My aunt decided that she wanted to have a party for her 90 th birthday so she could see her friends and family while she was still alive instead of waiting for them to view her in a coffin.   Needless to say, she was thrilled to make it to her birthday!   What a lovefest at that party of people reminiscing of days gone by and declaring their feelings of love for my wonderful aunt. ...

Okay.  I think I’ve established the fact that communication efforts between men and women are complicated.  Unfortunately, we aren’t told that we need to learn a foreign language when we enter into matrimony. Yes, we women speak very different English from our spouses.  Half the battle, like most anything, is the realization of the problem.  Once you grasp the differences and no longer allow them to drive you crazy, you can easily learn to communicate with your spouse. Your focus should be on your spouse’s needs, not your own.  Allowing yourself to become annoyed at their words that conflict with your desires (unless they criticize you personally) is a selfish act. Putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your own is just a polite way of saying, “Stop being so selfish.”  Selfishness will always cause severe friction in a marriage and usually leads a couple to divorce.  I’ve seen some people tolerate a selfish spouse for many years, but it tak...

Often times, when I have no clue what to write on my weekly blog, I search through my notes and papers to find a great Bible verse that particularly touched me or a saying I may have heard from another source.  God always leads me to just the right one.  As I frantically searched for this week’s topic, uninspired by my own thoughts, I came upon a lone piece of paper with these words scratched on it. “Church is supposed to be a transformational tool to grow closer to the Father – not a substitute.” Hmmm.  How true, how true.  But how many regard their relationship with God to be their time spent at church? We are subtly led to believe that we should be at church as much as possible throughout the week for whatever class, service, or activity that is presented. (Not a bad thing, by any means.)  Too many people hold their time in church, though, as their standard of Christianity, their justification for being called a follower of Christ.  They are mor...

My most passionate topic over the years has been about the one thing that easily devastates any marriage – selfishness.   It is also the biggest deterrent from a relationship with God. Now, I thought I was great at unselfishness. I’ve always been a people person, willing to put others needs ahead of my own.   God recently showed me, though, a different side that I never thought of as selfishness. I may not be neglecting anyone or appearing selfish, but when I lose myself in a party of pity, self-pity at that, I’m selfishly ignoring God’s plan for my life. I’m blocking Him out and focusing on my desires that have not yet come to fruition or may have been temporarily interrupted by someone elses words or actions.   This is selfishness towards God.   He wants to be part of all we do in our lives, but when we close Him off by getting stuck in worldly ideas and thoughts, we miss out on whatever amazing plan He may have had for us that day.   We are not trust...