GPS to a Joyful Marriage

My fluffy little alarm clocks (Teddy and Stewie, my Yorkies) went off at 7:00 am, their usual time to start their demands for the day.  Usually, I say "No!" to them, "Go to sleep!", and they'll curl back into position with one eye carefully watching for the slightest movement from me. Today was different, though. I had to get up.  I love to lie in bed for an extra 30 minutes before I face the day.  I had an appointment at 9:00 that was 45 minutes away, so I had to get moving. I woke up agitated from a comment my husband made to me the night before.  (I had tried to ignore it and not respond.)  As I prepared breakfast for the boys (how I refer to the dogs), Stewie stayed on the couch and refused to eat.  Great.  He always eats.  Now I would worry about him while I was gone.  He had been very whiny the day before, so I wondered what was wrong.  No time to deal with it right now.  I had an appointment to keep. I got in my car and the "low tire pressure

Hot… cold …hot… cold ...hot… cold.    I’m not just referring to the nasty menopausal temperature swings I experience at night, but also to the extreme changes that can unexpectedly occur in my emotional psyche at the drop of a wrong word or wrong look from someone else. I have tried to explain our emotional essence as women, but it’s often too deep to comprehend and even more difficult to control.  So what do we do??  We pray - and pray.  God certainly has the capability to free us from this “curse”, but then we wouldn’t have to depend on Him in our marriage, would we?  He will help, but I believe He allows a certain amount of our emotional handicap in order to keep us humbled and seeking Him. Besides, He has quite the sense of humor to put men and women in the same household, together, to become one as man and wife. He knew we would need His help.  That’s also why He tells us,  “It is good not to marry.”   Marriage is probably the most difficult task we will ever undertake. 

Women are usually led by their emotions while men run on logic.  (Again, there are always exceptions to this rule.)  That’s why we frequently hear a husband say his wife is crazy, and a woman say that her husband is an idiot. We emote from different ends of the spectrum.   The emotional dialogue of women (which is part of our normal communication) often sounds like complete absurdity to men because the male brain doesn’t journey as deep into the complexity of emotions as a female brain does. Therefore, our words can sound like senseless babble (craziness) to men because of their limited capability to digest them with their logical minds. Who wants to listen to babble?   And so, we often find a great communication gap between men and women in marriage relationships. The good news is that we can each learn to adjust our communication differences.  We need to, as women, first understand the importance of controlling our emotions. As humans, we are made up of our physical bod

Is it any wonder that men struggle in trying to understand women?  I sometimes can’t understand myself.  It seems I’ll get mad over some silly little thing, and in no time, it  escalates  into a dramatic, emotional outrage.  (Only with my husband though.)  How does that happen? Having been in marriage ministry for over 20 years and holding all the correct answers for a joyful marriage in my hand, how could I possibly still experience moments like that?  Granted, they are rare anymore, but it frustrates me that they would ever occur again.  Okay, so I’m not perfect. I’m the first to tell men and women that women don’t always know how to communicate directly.  We may rant about the proper placement of the toilet seat, but the emotions usually stem from another issue.  We have so many thoughts going through our brains at any given time and are so busy multitasking that it becomes difficult to recognize the root of the problem.  Men, if you want to know how a woman thinks, just o

Marriage can sometimes feel like a roller coaster ride. Unfortunately, we are easily influenced by circumstances and emotions that often temporarily affect our feelings. If we allow our feelings to direct our course of life, we will never get off that roller coaster. Come to think of it though, Rick never boards that roller coaster. His ride tends to be straight and level with no surprises. Of course, feelings never get in the way of his actions or decisions. I suppose my roller coaster tendencies may be due to the fact that I’m:  A. female (and usually directed by my feelings)   B. hormonal most of the time and  C. from a family of roller coaster riders. Now I know that when I drop to the lowest lows of the ride, I can easily get caught in a party of SELF-pity. Those times don’t occur as often as they used to, but I don’t understand why they occur at all anymore. Sometimes I wallow there for a full day. I guess that’s the part of being human that drives me crazy! I turned my life o