GPS to a Joyful Marriage

I believe one reason we find ourselves in silly arguments that escalate into full blown fights is that we don’t voice our expectations with our spouse.   I find that, occasionally, I will come to a conclusion about a situation, in my mind, and neglect to tell my husband, or even other people, what I’ve decided.  I move on assuming everyone knows where I’m coming from.  Of course, my husband should be able to second guess my actions  (ha ha!  That couldn’t be further from the truth!) ; we’ve been married for thirty-three years!   Needless to say, things don’t get completed very efficiently when no one knows what you expect, and a situation like this easily turns into a fertile breeding ground for arguments. Recently, we were in a social situation and nearing the time to leave.  I am such a people person that at a party, I want to talk to everyone.  It seems that Rick thought we were leaving and got upset with me when I wasn’t right behind him walking out the door.  I had gotten

When I first turned my life over to God, one of my favorite praise songs I learned was “I Cast All My Cares.” “I cast all my cares upon You.  I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet.  And anytime I don’t know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.” Such a simple song with a powerful message.  To this day I still sing that song to myself when I don’t know what to do.  It soothes my soul.  You might walk by a window to my house, at one of those moments, and see the tears rolling down my face as I’m singing out to God with my arms outstretched wide.  The problems may not be solved or dissolved, but God gives me peace that surpasses all understanding.  I can then move on and not feel so crippled by fear or pain. If you struggle with turning things over to God, maybe you should find a song or a Bible verse that soothes your soul - something that reminds you of God’s amazing grace and mercy. You might say, “Oh but you don’t know what I’m going through.”  You’re ri

I’m guessing that some of you out there may be a little bothered about my words, in my past few posts, on the roles of men and women.  That would, honestly, be my first reaction also.  In this age, we have been taught to think quite differently than what the Bible says about our gender responsibilities.  We’ve been instilled with what the world tells us to do and don’t even realize it. For example, I was doing something in the kitchen while Rick watched television (our usual roles when we are at home – pretty typical for most men and women regardless of how modern we’ve become, don’t you think?).  A commercial came on for Dr. Pepper and its thirty-two new flavors (?!?!), and it ended with, “This is not for women.” (Or something to that affect.) I immediately responded with an emphatic, “What!  What do they mean??”  Rick laughed and we agreed it was a brilliant ad campaign.  I wanted to run right out and buy some of this new Dr. Pepper.  Don’t tell me I can’t do something!

After Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, we see, in Genesis 3, where God lays out the roles for both sexes. Men -Vs. 17-19 “ Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.  It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.  By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food.”    God’s judgment on men – they’ll have to work hard to feed  and support their families.   Women -Vs. 16 “ In pain you shall bring forth children.  Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.”   God’s judgment on women - we see that this will be an area we struggle with all our lives.  We devote our time to our children, but our desire is for our husband. God has now given him work that will take up a lot of his time, often times becoming his priority,  and he will rule over us.  Not only do we yearn for more time with our spouse, but we also have to find the balance in allowing him to “rule

More on "The Vision for Your Marriage" I look back to my pre-marriage thoughts, well, at least what I can remember from so long ago, and realize I had many factors that distorted a healthy vision for my future marriage.  My father left my mother for the other woman when I was sixteen.  My brother stayed with my father, and they moved to another state.  I only saw them once or twice a year after that.  Any positive thoughts I had about marriage and family were crushed at this time.  In fact, I didn't think I wanted to ever get married. And then I met Rick.  My Superman swept me off my feet and changed my thoughts about marriage, delusional though they may have been.  In looking back, I believe I had a huge desire for stability in a family since mine had been shattered.  Rick was the most stable, solid man I'd ever met, and he turned my fear of getting married into hope.  He was totally different from the men I'd dated in the past, and I believe God led me to R