Where Is My Peace?

Okay.  The wedding is over and with no children left to marry off and no imminent plans for an exciting event in the near future, I’ve reluctantly come down from the fairy tale high that usually embraces a wedding.  I’m back to obsessing about what I need to do to turn our ministry into a full-time venture. 

For numerous years I’ve worked hard on the ministry my husband and I share.  I’ve come to a point where the direction isn’t quite as I had planned it to be.  (I’m continuously analyzing how I believe that path should look.)  I think too much, and I try too hard to make things happen.  I’m impatient and too eager to move in the direction God has planned for me.  I would like to move a little faster - maybe a lot faster than the pace He seems to be taking.  I battle to maintain my peace, the best gift I receive from God, when I get so preoccupied with making things happen.

On Saturday I felt tired of the whole process; I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to let go.

While struggling with what to do, I cried out to God. “Speak to me, Lord!”  It was evening, and Rick had gone off to graduation for Hernando High.  I picked up “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young, a wonderful devotional book, and this was the devotional for that day.

“THE PEACE THAT I GIVE YOU transcends your intellect.  When most of your mental energy goes into efforts to figure things out, you are unable to receive this glorious gift.  I look into your mind and see thoughts spinning round and round: going nowhere, accomplishing nothing.  All the while, My Peace hovers over you, searching for a place to land.

Be still in My Presence, inviting Me to control your thoughts, Let My Light soak into your mind and heart until you are aglow with My very Being.  This is the most effective way to receive My Peace.”                                                   2 THESSALONIANS 3:16; Job 22:21

It was as though God sat right down on the couch and spoke these words to me.  As usual, when God truly speaks to me, I cried. 

Wow, I did it again. I lost sight of my focus, my goal, because I was too concerned about the race to get there.  All the talk about ‘running the race’ in the Bible (For example, Hebrews 12:1 – “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us”) has, perhaps, added to my anxiety and sense of urgency.  It has enhanced my sense of wanting to make it happen, quickly.  After all, who runs slowly in a race?  I want to win, now!

Once again, I have to hand my plans over to God and allow Him to take control of my thoughts, my peace, and His purpose for my life.

We can easily have the same problem in our marriage.  We try to figure things out on our own.  Our thoughts spin round and round, going nowhere, accomplishing nothing.  They often become harsh words aimed at our spouse that we really don’t mean. 

We keep God’s peace at bay whenever we forget to include Him in our lives and in our marriages. We get too busy and become easily bothered by an imperfect spouse that we miss the blessings God intends to pour on our marriage. We want the prize immediately, the prize of a joyful, peaceful marriage, without going through the slow process of refinement. 

We need to stay focused on God’s plan for our lives and for our marriages.  Only then will we experience His favor and His amazing peace that surpasses all understanding.