GPS to a Joyful Marriage

Romans 12:2-3 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.  For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” The second part of verse two says, “ Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Although I grew up going to church, I wasn’t concerned about God’s plan for my life.   After my parent’s divorced, I stopped going to church and grounded my feet in the world.   Most of you know my story so let me cut to the chase.   I lived a life that catered to the desires of my flesh. I often look back at those days and still see God’s hand in my life, although I didn’t ask for His help...

Romans 12:2-3 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.  For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” Romans 12 verse 2 was one of the first verses I memorized as a child.  I had no idea what it truly meant.  It wasn’t until after I went through my “desert experience” in my marriage that I understood the meaning. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world.”  Conform means to imitate, follow, adapt.  There was a time in our society, not so long ago, where Christians stood out from the people “of the world”.  That is not the case anymore.   Many churches have relaxed their teachings, delivering a “fe...

Okay, I know I’ve addressed the issue of “self” over and over, but it needs to be done!  Selfishness poisons relationships.  Rick and I see it repeatedly in our counseling, even in “good Christians”.  It’s always the thorn in a relationship that will eventually destroy it; a thorn that only the selfish person can remove. A selfish spouse will exhaust their partner and push them out the door.  Unfortunately, most selfish people are unaware of this malicious flaw.  Please open your eyes to this toxin if you are infected with any part of it! I find it curious that the word self is flesh spelled backwards plus an “h”.  (The “h” could stand for him or her.)  Every Christian immediately recognizes the dangers of flesh, but most are blind to the problem of self (although they go hand-in-hand).  That is where we struggle the most in our relationship with God and in our relationship with our spouse. Self wants control, wants everything done its wa...

Ephesians 5:33 – “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Nowhere in the Bible is the wife commanded to love her husband.  There is reference to her teaching the younger women to love their husbands in Titus 2:3-4, but other than that, women are only called to respect their husbands.  Men, on the other hand, are instructed, repeatedly, to love their wives. God is so cool how he works out every little detail!  What is the most important need for a woman?  To be loved!  All women desire to feel loved above everything else. And for a man, his desire above all else is to be respected. So God’s word directs us, very clearly, that women should respect their husbands and men should love their wives.  When we do that, we are fulfilling our spouse’s deepest emotional needs.  When we neglect these needs, the vicious cycle begins. It begins slowly and very subtly.  We start takin...