GPS to a Joyful Marriage

I struggle with waiting.  It came to me clearly as I waited at the bank the other day.  My handicapped brother recently moved to Florida, and I’m helping him make the necessary changes that come with moving.  I dragged my heels for a few days before I finally took him to the bank because I knew it would be an ordeal.  I knew I would have to wait.  I tried to plan the right day and right hour to go so that there would be a minimum amount of people competing for time with a teller.  It didn’t work out that way, though.  We wound up going on a Friday afternoon, the day and time I would normally avoid going to a bank.  I had to “die to my flesh” and do it for my brother because it needed to be done. I knew we couldn’t go to a regular teller, we’d have to speak to one of the specialty assistants, or whatever banks call them.  There were about six people ahead of us.  A quick scan of the cubicles revealed two workers at their desks....

We all know how appreciation feels, yet many of us rarely receive it and even more neglect to give it. Why is it so difficult for humans to express appreciation?  Some people shower it effortlessly on others, while many don’t know how to express it at all.  It doesn’t take much to satisfy our human desire to be appreciated.  A simple word of thanks can speak volumes to someone searching for approval. Margaret Cousins once said, “Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.  Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” If you weren’t taught to show appreciation and rarely delight in building up others, I suggest you learn how to – especially if you are married.  We particularly need to express it with our spouse. As many of you women know, most men need more vocal appreciation than women.  They usually require a “pat-on-the-back” after each chore and every good deed done in taking care of the children.  That’s o...

While dining with some friends a few weeks ago, we discussed the subject of marriage.  (No surprise there.)  Margie, the wife of one of Rick’s golfing partners, strongly declared that she believes appreciation is the most valuable gift we can give to our spouse. We all need to feel appreciated. Appreciate, according to Webster, means: a   :   to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of,  b   :   to value or admire highly , c   :   to judge with   heightened perception or understanding :   be fully aware of , d   :   to recognize with gratitude We are all born with an innate longing for appreciation. Even as newborn babies, we quickly learn how to gain attention and positive responses that lead to a feeling of appreciation.  Along with appreciation comes a sense of security.  Negative attention and responses, on the other hand, lead to insecurity and low self-esteem. Appreciation is rela...

We as Christians are called to fulfill the plan that God has designed for our lives.  To know that plan and dream that dream brings great joy and excitement yet also comes with its share of frustration and heartache.     You may know the end result of God’s path for you, but the trails leading there sometimes seem non-existent.      Marriage often times feels the same way.  We know the end result we want, but it feels like we’re fighting through a pathless jungle to get there. I sometimes wrestle with trying to take control of my destiny.  I want to be in charge of everything, especially when God doesn’t move as fast as I’d like (and my husband).  I find that my biggest struggles appear when I get ahead of what God desires for me, whether it is in my ministry or in my marriage. Although I see the goal line, the place God planned for me, I have had to learn (the hard way) to allow God to illuminate the paths for me.  I ...

Last week, Rick and I attended the Jewish wedding of the daughter of our dear friends, Ira and Gloria Brawer.  Ira is the Messianic Rabi of his own congregation in Boca Raton.  It was wonderful to watch Ira, now the spiritual leader and solid rock of this community of believers, as he spoke blessings over the marriage of his daughter. We met Ira and Gloria 25 years ago when we all lived in Colorado Springs.  That was the time in my life I experienced the crisis in my marriage.  Ira and Gloria were an amazing example, to me, of faith and God’s love.  They were an important factor in leading me on the right path to God. Ira and Gloria had a dream of moving to the southwest coast of Florida because the largest percentage of Jewish people lived there.  They wanted to lead them to Jesus. They struggled financially, at that time, working odd jobs to support their family.  I remember Gloria would come to my house to do laundry because her machine br...