Unpack Your Bags
I spent 25 of my almost 31 years of marriage
following my husband around the world with the Air Force. We moved every two to three years and some times after only one year because of the various schools Rick attended. Many times we changed houses in
the middle of an assignment. We currently live in our 18th
home and have been in this house for
almost five years now. No wonder I feel
restless.
I’ve recently discovered a pattern in my life from
all these moves. When we lived in a
place that I wasn’t particularly crazy about, or a house I didn’t like, or I didn’t
have the close friends I desired, I would fold up those feelings and put them in a suitcase
and shut it tight. I knew we would be
moving in a year or two. I could put up
with anything for that amount of time. Maybe we would move to a better house, a
better place, or closer to my family. I realize that I carried these bags with me
everywhere we went, and the bag got fuller and fuller each time we moved.
We moved into our Spring Hill house almost five
years ago, thinking we’d live here for a year or two. This house was strictly an investment, not a
permanent home to me. I decorated it
with the sole intention of preparing it to sell. Five years later, I look at the room I’ve
never finished, the painting I’ve never done, and realize my bags are still
packed and waiting to move on. I’ve never allowed myself to feel “at home” or
to put my roots down. It’s difficult
moving into a civilian community when you’ve lived the military lifestyle for
so long. I hadn’t even tried. God has been speaking to me that it is time to
unpack my bags. He can’t promote me to
the next level of His plan until I accept where I am at this level.
We all carry baggage, usually from our past
experiences and childhood. No one grew
up in a perfect family. We all come with
some degree of dysfunction. It’s what
you do with that experience that determines your destiny. As long as you hold on to past hurts and
disappointments, you will never fulfill God’s plan for your life. The suitcase full of garbage in your mind
will always serve as a major distraction from God and from a healthy marriage.
I think of the expression “bloom where you’re
planted”, which often caused me great anxiety in the past as I strived to do
it. I discovered that the “buts” get in
the way. “But… this isn’t where I want
to be…this isn’t what I want to do…I thought I would be doing something else.” Even worse, we compare ourselves to others
and wind up feeling inadequate in our own journey.
God has a special plan for each and every one of us,
totally different from one another. We
shouldn’t even begin to compare our walks to others - but we do.
I’m always amazed at how sly and subtle the enemy
is. He strikes where we are most
vulnerable, and we don’t even realize we’ve been hit! We blame ourselves, and we continue to fill
up those bags with our failures and insecurities until we become overwhelmed and unable to accomplish any tasks that God may ask of us.
If you feel like you have no idea about God’s plan
for you, or you don’t know what direction to go, take the time to unpack your
baggage. Sort it out – get rid of the
garbage. That is probably what He’s
waiting for before He can move you on to your next assignment. Spend time with Him. Get rid of the distractions of the world and all the self-pity that
keeps you too busy for a true relationship with God.
Next week – more on “Too Busy”.
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