GPS to a Joyful Marriage

The end of Ephesians 5 sums up the duties of husbands and wives in verse 33 saying, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”  Colossians repeats this counsel in chapter 3 vs. 18 and 19 – “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” Nowhere in the Bible is the woman told to love her husband.  Titus 2 vs 4.tells the older women to “ train the younger women to love their husbands” .  That is the closest reference to women loving the husband.  In comparison, the husband is repeatedly told to love his wife. Why aren’t women told to love their husbands?  It seems inconsistent to our worldly views of love.  When we look at our needs, though, the main need of a woman is to feel loved and for a man, to feel respected.  God did not inspire these verses casually.  They were intended to clearly remind us of these essential needs of our spouse.  And so, wo

I’m guessing that some of you out there may be a little bothered about my thoughts on the roles of men and women.  That would be, honestly, my first reaction also.  In this age, we have been taught to think quite differently than what the Bible says about our gender responsibilities.  We’ve been instilled with what the world tells us to do and don’t even realize it. For example, I was doing something in the kitchen while Rick watched television (our usual roles when we are at home – pretty typical for men and women regardless of how modern we’ve become, don’t you think?).  A commercial came on for Dr. Pepper and its thirty-two new flavors (?!?!), and it ended with, “This is not for women.” (Or something to that affect.) I immediately responded with an emphatic, “What!  What do they mean??”  Rick laughed and we agreed it was a brilliant ad campaign.  I wanted to run right out and buy some of this new Dr. Pepper.  Don’t tell me I can’t do something! We as women long for t

In Genesis 3 we see where God lays out the roles for both sexes. Men -Vs. 17-19 “ Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.  It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.  By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food.”    God’s judgment on men – they’ll have to work and work to feed their families.  They will also struggle in not allowing their work to become their priority in life. Women -Vs. 16 “ In pain you shall bring forth children.  Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.”   God’s judgment on women - we see that this will be an area we struggle with all our lives.  We devote our time to our children.  Our desire is for our husband, but God has now given him work that will take up a lot of his time, and he will rule over us.  Not only do we yearn for more time with our spouse, but we also have to find the balance in allowing him to “rule ove

I look back to my pre-marriage thoughts, well, at least what I can remember from so long ago, and realize I had many factors that distorted any healthy vision for my marriage.  My father left my mother for the other woman when I was sixteen and basically destroyed any sense of family I had, and any positive ideas I may have had about marriage.  My brother went with my father and they moved to another state, so I only saw them once or twice a year.  My thoughts about marriage and family were totaly distorted at this time.  In fact, I didn't think I wanted to ever get married. My husband swept me off my feet, though, and changed my thinking about marriage, although my desires for it were a bit delusional.  In looking back, I believe I had a huge need for stability in a family since mine had been shattered.  Rick was the most stable, solid man I'd ever met and he turned my ideas of not wanting to get married into hope.   Rick was totally different from the men I'd dated in t

Our pastor’s wife, Pastor Nellie, leads “Women of Fire” every Sunday, a dynamic ministry offered for the women of our church, Grace World Outreach.  Recently, they discussed “Vision” in your life. I had the privilege of sharing my thoughts about “Vision for your Marriage” one Sunday.  I’d like to share some of that with you for the next few postings because it’s an awesome concept for enhancing your marriage.  Most of us, as little girls and teenagers, even adult women, visualized about the biggest day of our lives – our wedding day.  We tried to imagine what that day would be like and dreamed about it for years.  My friends and I continuously held pretend weddings in my backyard when I was a child.  Usually, I wrapped myself in a soggy beach towel to symbolize my make-believe wedding dress (we had a swimming pool and lived in bathing suits all summer.)  There was always a handsome prince waiting at the end of the aisle to sweep me off into happily-ever-after.  The end.  And th