GPS to a Joyful Marriage

As I was growing up, I called my earthly father, “Dad.”  It seemed to me that only my friends who had a very special relationship with their father called them “Daddy.”  I never called mine “Daddy.”  I was not very close to him. The first time I realized this was when I watched the movie “The Little Mermaid” with my children.  At the end of the movie, the little mermaid says to her father, “I love you Daddy!”  I sobbed uncontrollably.  My father had passed away a few months earlier, and I realized I would never have a relationship with him where I would call him “Daddy.” A few years later, a friend of mine and I were discussing all the words in the Bible for God.  One of those is “Abba”.  Abba means “father” or, as she liked to say, “Daddy.”  When she talked about God being our Daddy who would hold us on his lap when we needed comforting, the tears, again, began to pour down my face.  God is my Daddy. Our earthly fathers are not pe...

Rick and I watched Sinbad recently, a great, clean comedian, who spent an hour and a half talking about marriage.  He answered the never-ending question men hear from women, “How come you don’t romance me?” “You’ve got to tell me what it is!” was his reply. What is romance?  Men and women certainly have different ideas of what it means. The dictionary goes into great detail describing the feelings of romance, such as love affair, physical love, spirit of adventure, fascination of something (all broken down in definition).  I found nothing, though, that describes how to attain it.  No wonder men get confused.  When we watch romantic movies, it’s all about candlelight dinners, soft music, roses, a passionate night of lovemaking with oils and long baths.  That’s what happens BEFORE marriage (according to our worldly ways).  AFTER marriage, the rules usually change. The secret is finding out what makes your spouse feel romantic.  (I’m mainly...

I am always saddened by the lack of love I see in couples we counsel.  There is often so much animosity and dislike that I wonder if we can ever help them.  Unfortunately, the majority of married couples will experience those feelings at some point in their marriage.  How do we get to that point? Communication is the big factor that will make or break a marriage.  Of course, ideally, I’d like to say that God should be the big factor in every marriage (which He should).  I’ve seen too many “Christian” couples, though, who seem to have a strong foundation in God, but lack the communication skills required to keep their marriage healthy and Godly. Many Christians mistakenly believe that all they need is God in the center of their marriage- that should take care of everything else.  It doesn't work that way.  We still need to take the human footsteps necessary for a healthy marriage.  God will guide us in those footsteps, leading us to a more joyf...

Prayer for a Married Couple Iyanla Vanzant D ear God: B less my marriage today. B less me and my wife/husband with a clear vision of your purpose for our union. B less us by ordering our steps. B less our prayers for each other. Bless us with safety from all harm. Bless us with hearts that are open and filled with gentle compassion for each other. B less us so that we will remember to compliment and encourage each other. B less us with strength from the inside that spills forth to the outside so that no weapon can be formed against us or within us. B less my wife/husband in everything that she/he does this day. B less her/his thoughts, words and deeds in every situation and under all circumstances. B less and fill my wife’s/husband’s heart with overwhelming peace and joy. Hear her/his every concern and bring every appropriate solution to her/his mind clearly and gently. B less me to know and to see only the things t...

It is interesting that the end of Chapter 6 in Ephesians talks about putting on the full armor of God.  Chapter 5 talks about marriage, and the beginning of chapter six, how to treat your parents and your children.  Is it a coincidence that these most important chapters for our lives fall together?  Of course not! Verse 11 and 12 of Chapter 6 say “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles (plans) of the devil.  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world., against spiritual wickedness in high places.” “For we wrestle NOT against flesh and blood…”   How easily we become offended though by flesh and blood.  We have to constantly remind ourselves of this war around us and prepare ourselves for the battles we face daily, even hourly.  Sometimes, the people we love the most, especially our spouses, are used as pawns of the dev...